The Tommy Peeperz
Part 1
“I was 11 years old. In one fateful hunt for my father’s PLAYBOYS i found a vibrator, a box of condomns, and a stack of Playboy magazines. I was in heaven. Until my mom came up behind me. I was caught, and i just died inside! She shook me furiously yelling “Tommy what did you see in those books?!” To which i replied/lied “WORDS MOM, just WORDS!” At some point later my brothers and I found the box of condoms again and thought they were balloons. Really strong ones. So we hid in the attic and blew them all up. We were shocked when our lips went numb from the spermicide! -Tom Huck
Part 2
“On June 15, 1983, at 2:30 PM at the public pool in my hometown, Stephanie the lifeguard decided to cool off. I was in the 4th grade I think, hanging out in the shallow end with goggles and snorkel on. I happened to be underwater staring in the direction of the diving board at the precise moment that Stephanie dove in. As soon as she hit the water her top came off for a second, which she quickly pulled up, and i almost drowned from the excitement. For the rest of the day my buddies and I hung out in the shallow end. I told her about this in an email a couple years back, and she responded “Oh my god my tits are gonna be in a museum someday!” -Tom Huck
Part 3
“When I was a kid we used to torture and destroy my sisters’ Barbies. My brothers and I would tape fireworks to them and send them to space. This dubious honor wasn’t reserved just for the Barbies though. Our Han Solo action figure was repeatedly launched into space, flusehed down the toilet, and frozen in glasses of water. My brother once decapitated a bunch of my sisters’ Cabbage Patch Kids and hung their bodies from the ceiling in her room”. -Tom Huck